I can’t believe the last blog was written in February, the time has flown by and I am ambiguous in thought whether it is a good thing because it means I have been too busy and occupied, or a bad thing because the time has gone so quickly. I would like to think that it is because I have been busy and could agree the time has flown very quickly too.
I haven’t wasted the time because I have been concentrating on trying to finish my sequel to A Fine Line A Balance to Survive and in doing so it has taught me so much. My new book The Survival will hopefully be published towards the end of October 2013. I have received one endorsement and am hoping I may receive one more but if not, am satisfied anyway. My new book has many reflections in it and questions of why or how I responded to certain issues in the past. A major thing I have learnt is as you get older you realise that you have so much more choice then when you were younger.
Choice sometimes comes with a price and now I realise that if I had the confidence that I have now of when I was younger I could have learnt and realised that I was worth more and that I should not have let some people treat me the way they did. Experience teaches you so much and time can give you confidence as with each step taken you can tell yourself this is the way forward, this is how I want to be and more important this is what I deserve. We have to make the most of our life and although the past can be unfortunate for some, it is also an opportunity to use it as a leaning curve, and for some it can actually be an advantage to be able to appreciate the life we have now even more than others who have not had a bad past. The reason is that we appreciate the little things that a lot of people take for granted. The colours of the autumn, the sensation of rain drops falling on your skin, the simple act of waking in the morning with a new day ahead. A day of opportunity and freedom.
The Survival is about surviving and reflecting, and more importantly it is about learning and moving on at the same time. I can’t change my past nor would I want to as it has led me to where I am now, and my family and friends are the most important things in the world to me along with my animals. Unfortunately there are still many survivors suffering from the effects of their past. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t still suffer from my past. Yet I have learnt to manage it so much more better, and because of this can cope so much better. Again I think time has a lot to do with this and from sitting back at a distance learning to place more things into perspective and in doing so minimising the guilt trips, the lack of self esteem and the depression. Now I realise that I used to look for the negativity in every signal people gave and that most of the time I read into things that were not there simply because I lacked self confidence. I also learnt that a lot of the negativity that was real was not my problem it was the other persons problem. My first book introduced me to many other survivors and through listening to their accounts I realised that so many of us have shared similar thoughts and consequences.It taught me also that when other people have shared similar experiences it must mean that some of the actions are down to the effects and consequences of the past, and that through sharing have found that others have managed to battle their way through, and it made me feel less guilty of some of the bad reactions I had because I was not the only one to experience and have them. I have also been motivated and inspired by other survivors and thank them for sharing their experiences with me.
I am and will always be very grateful to my consultant who helped me through twenty years of therapy and who very kindly offered to write the foreword to my new book. I enclose a small piece of it.
“I was very pleased to be asked to write a foreword for Lisa’s new book. I was Lisa’s psychiatrist and figure as ‘Dr Lynn‘ in her previous book – A Fine Line. I treated Lisa for almost 20 years; an extremely long time to see any patient in the National Health Service. I remember during her therapy sessions, Lisa telling me that she intended to write a book about her life and treatment. We often discussed the purpose of the book and what she hoped to gain from writing it. She never expected it to have the success it has achieved and that so many thousands of people would read it and find it of interest and benefit to them.
The book also provides great insight into the experience of being a psychiatric patient; particularly as an inpatient on a busy ward. She describes how care was or was not provided. As a consultant psychiatrist, I did not always know what really happened in the ward at night times and weekends when there were fewer senior staff around. Her account was of such significance that it became required reading for senior managers in our mental health organisation. Lisa was also asked by the Chief Executive to offer advice about the nursing care and organisation for a new all-female ward. This illustrates the importance of her account of her experiences.”
I obviously am grateful to the followers of this blog and would like to say thank you for following.